Criticism on deflation article

Summary of Ambrose Evans-P. Article

In his article in Telegraph from the 23^rd of October 2013, Ambrose Evans Pritchard analyzes the deflation within Europe.

In the beginning he illustrates the European deflation by using a comparison to the Japanese one. Deflation means no economic growth which can be positive if a country is not in debt, but due to European Debt Crisis, a deflation would cause a bigger problem than assumed for Europe. Not only national debts would be impossible to pay off but also private debts would be affected badly by this.

Ambrose Evans Pritchard suggests an increase of inflation within Europe, but Germany resist against such a policy as their economy is in a good condition, for now anyway. In the long run this unsolved problem will also affect Germany’s economy. To carry out this kind of an inflation policy Club Med partners should ally against Germany and force the country to accept inflation.

Another solution could be the attempt to cut spending, which is a highly unpopular process for the population.

In brief, Europe is hoping for a miracle to occur that will solve the European deflation and will save them from falling into a deeper crisis. 

Criticism

I very much like the topic sentence, it gives you a nice and easy start into the text. 

In the second sentence I would replace "using a comparison" by simply "comparing".

I think the second sentence is a bit unclear - deflation leads to no economic growth but I don't think it is the term to describe it. There seems to be a link missing there.

The problems that can be caused by deflation are explained in a very good and understandable way. I think the author did a really good job here in making a complicated topic tangible. This also goes for the proposed solutions - so all in all I think the author did really well in breaking down a complicated issue.

Revised Version of EU paragraph

Original Version

Revised Version

The Schengen Agreement

In 1985  five of the then ten member states of the European Economic Community, namely Belgium, France , the Netherlands, West Germany and Luxembourg conceived the Schengen Agreement to permit the free movement of persons within  a determined area referred to as the Schengen Area. Nowadays, the Schengen Agreement has 26 members with also non-European Union countries like Norway and Iceland having signed this treaty. Others, such as the United Kingdom and Ireland, are part of the European Union, but do not belong to the Schengen Area.
The UK prefers to remain independent as they perceive the natural frontiers of an island as already sufficient enough to prevent illegal immigration. Even though Ireland does not share this opinion, they prefer to uphold the Common Travel Agreement as joining the Schengen Area would result in the inconvenience of a closed border between the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland. In short, the Schengen Area achieved its aim of enhancing mobility of people and goods and was eventually incorporated into European law with only Ireland, the UK, Romania, Bulgaria and Cyprus remaining opt-outs.



PS: Sorry for the creative depiction of the first paragraph, but as unrealistic it sounds - the electronic version somehow got lost....